Archive for 11. December 2009

Jesus and Satan in an Epic Battle:

11. December 2009 by Rose Southwell.

Well we have a treat that has landed in our laps… My dear friend and sometimes intellectual nemesis and I are starting a blog war. Now I am going to post his Blog on here so that all can follow what is going on, because his blog “Chapin confessions” is an email chain, and I have my own web page ( Rose-1, Marc-0). But in all joking Marc doesn’t post his blogs for good reasons, and so this one we have agreed to share with our readers back and forth, because sharing our fun with you, makes it more fun for us.

            Now I would like to state that Marc’s telling of the actually conversation are NOT direct quotes, but close enough to show each sides rise in arrogance as we began to push each other’s buttons. And I will also make note that this Blog is Marc’s move first… Written to move the discussion at lunch into a intellectual smack down. Because of this, I will then post my response this weekend, and we will probably be doing this shenanigans for the rest of our lives.

JESUS vs. SATAN FOR THE KEYS TO HELL!Real-life Bible Story or Simply Badass Speculative Shenanigans?A Brief ExegesisBy Marc van BulckOn Thursday, December 10, 2009 at the hour of lunch in the refectory, the gauntlet was thrown down by the plaintiff, Rose Southwell, that according to the Bible, after the crucifixion of our Lord Jesus Christ, Jesus descended into Hell, where He encountered an epic struggle with an unknown antithesis (possibly Satan, the devil, or some other unknown adversary – this detail was not made clear), after which Jesus procured the keys to Hell, which He now possesses. 

The defendant, Marcel van Bulck, while admiring what he expressed to be “thebadassery” of this story, expressed skepticism toward the Biblical validity of such a

claim.

 “That sounds like bullshit, Rose,” claimed the defendant.The plaintiff, Rose, insisted that this account was real and Biblical.“Would you like me to get out the Bible, Marc?”“I don’t think-““Would you like me to get out the Bible, Marc?” the plaintiff asked in an air of confident mockery.The defendant agreed that he would love to hear the story, and the plaintiff producedher King James Version of the Bible. After some research, the plaintiff produced thefollowing Biblical scripture:“I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; andhave the keys of hell and of death.”Revelation 1:18, King James Version 

After some remarks from the peanut gallery concerning the usage of the King James version of the Bible as opposed to the New Revised Standard Version of the Bible, which simply refers to hell as “Hades” (“I was dead, and see, I am alive forever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and of Hades” –Rev. 1: 18 NRSV), the plaintiff insisted on theusage of the King James Version interpretation of the Scripture. 

Regardless of the interpretation of the Scripture, the defendant, Marcel van Bulck,remarked that there seems to be a slight difference between “Jesus had an epic postcrucifixion fight after which He won the keys to Hell” and “I am he that liveth and was dead…and have the keys of hell and of death.” 

While this minor detail was agreed upon, the defendant, Marcel van Bulck, in his insistence on being a thorough Biblical scholar (as well as being a grade-A asshole) decided some brief exegesis of the text might be in order to perhaps add to the discussion. 

The debate as to whether the New Revised Standard Version or the King James Version is more valid is a slippery slope, so the defendant decided to go to the source –the original Greek. 

Now, unfortunately I don’t have the Greek font on my Mac, so please bare with my rough transliterations printed here. In Revelation 1:18, the word for “Hell” comes from the Greek word, “Adou,” which, as it turns out, does actually translate into “Hades,” which is what the NRSV said, (I’m just sayin’…), which is not to be confused with “Sheol,” the Hebrew word for the abode of the dead, which I think any decent Old Testament scholar would agree is not the same thing.1 

According to Goodrick, Swanswon, and Kohlenberger’s Exhaustive Concordance to the Greek New Testament, the Greek word for Hades appears in different Greek forms. “Adou,” “Ade,’ “Ades,” and “Aden,” and the four forms appear in the following Scriptures. 

“Adou”“And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven?No, you will be brought down to Hades. For if the deeds of power done in you had been done in Sodom, it would have remaineduntil this day.”- Matthew 11:23 

“And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates ofHades will not prevail against it.”-Matthew 16: 18 

“And you, Capernaum, will you be exalted to heaven? No, you will be brought down to Hades.”-Luke 10:15 

“I was dead, and see, I am alive for ever and ever; and I have the keys of Death and ofHades.”-Revelation 1:18 

“Ade”“In Hades, where he was being tormented, he looked up and saw Abraham far away withLazarus by his side.”-Luke 16: 23 

 “Ades”“I looked and there was a pale green horse! Its rider’s name was Death, and Hadesfollowed with him; they were given authority over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword,famine, and pestilence, and by the wild animals of the earth.”-Revelation 6:8 

“And the sea gave up the dead that were in it, Death and Hades gave up the dead thatwere in them, and all were judged according to what they had done. Then Death andHades were thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire”-Revelation 20:14 

“Aden”“For you will not abandon my soul to Hades,or let your Holy One experience corruption.”-Acts 2:27 

Foreseeing this, David spoke of the resurrection of the Messiah, saying,“He was not abandoned to Hades,nor did his flesh experience corruption.”-Acts 2:312 

For the sake of full disclosure, these quotes were all taken from the NRSV and not the King James mostly because I like it better (and I have it in front of me right now). However, it scarcely matters. Regardless of which version you are choosing to read from, NRSV or King James all of these references to “Hell” or “Hades” each come from the same Greek word used in the Revelation text, and these are the only other instances inthe New Testament that refer to this word, “adou,” that also refers to “keys.” And literally none of them mention any kind of epic battle in hell between Jesus and…well…whoever. 

But what about these keys that Revelation talks about? Where do they come from? What is their significance? Is it possible that they refer to something else that could possibly allude to the plaintiff’s claim? 

Maybe the Interpretation Series can shed some light on this particular text. The Interpretation series has this to say about Revelation 1:18: “The One who calls them to be faithful even at the cost of their own lives is theOne who embraces us all, who will be there at the End to vindicate and receivethem, the one who has already gone before them through the reality of death. Noaloof deity this, but one who says matter-of-factly that he has taken death into hisown experience, has overcome it, has the keys of death and hades. In Hellenisticmythology the keys of Hades were often thought to be in the possession of Hekate,who controlled the revelatory traffic between the other world and this one (Aune,‘The Apocalypse of John and Greco-Roman Magic,’ pp. 484-89). John castsJesus in this role. Death is portrayed here, as elsewhere in the Bible, as apersonified power, the enemy that enslaves and robs (cf.. 6:8; 20:14; 1 Cor.15:26). Christians are not promised that if they are faithful they will be acquittedin the Roman courts and spared from the injustice of death; in and through death

they are met by the One who has conquered death and abides as the living one.”3

 The Book of Revelation certainly seems to proclaim that Christ has overcome the experience of death. Is this even a literal reference to an understanding of “Hell” or “Hades” or even just simply the experience of death? Sure, why not? 

However, nowhere does this suggest any canonical, Biblical evidence of some epic post-crucifixion battle in a literal Hell where Jesus wrestled Satan or whoever else for these alleged literal, non-Greek-mythological “keys.” 

The defense has nothing further at this time, your honor. 

Your move, Southwell. 

 

 

 

1 Brown, Robert K., Comfort, Philip W. The New Greek-English Interlinear NewTestament. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois. 853.2 Kohlenberger III, John R., Goodrick, Edward W., Swanson, James A. The ExhaustiveConcordanc to the Greek New Testament. Zondervan Publishing House. Grand Rapids,Michigan. 1995. 82. 

3 Boring, M. Eugene. Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching:Revelation. John Knox Press. Louisville, KY. 1989. 84. 

BIBLIOGRAPHYBoring, M. Eugene. Interpretation: A Bible Commentary for Teaching and Preaching:Revelation. John Knox Press. Louisville, KY. 1989. 84.Brown, Robert K., Comfort, Philip W. The New Greek-English Interlinear NewTestament. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois. 853.Kohlenberger III, John R., Goodrick, Edward W., Swanson, James A. The ExhaustiveConcordanc to the Greek New Testament. Zondervan Publishing House. Grand Rapids,

Michigan. 1995. 82.

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God Strolled up to my window

11. December 2009 by Rose Southwell.

(This is the Testamony of one of the life Altering events in my history, I read this as a devotional for my Pastoral Care class, on the day we discussed Substance Abuse) Fall 2009

            All throughout out high school I suffered from depression and darkness. I found a break from the reality with friends that showed me a way that was outside of my pain. I began using drugs at a time a deep pain and displacement from my friends in family; I was living in Houston for a period of time. And when I moved there the only people who reached out to be my friend was the Ravers (or party Kids). I learned a new way of life from them, a life that consisted of partying and debauchery. I was the only person in my new found group who had a car, and a cash flow, which made me the key to taping into the height of the drug world in Houston. I used EX, and speed, and took all kinds of pills and had no care for what it was doing to me. When I moved back to Dallas I continued my life on this path, hating the world, hating those that had it better than me (or so I thought) Hating the very things that were slowly taking over my life. When I graduated I had a GPA that was just enough to survive and get a diploma. (Because simply passing was what really mattered) I moved out with in a month of graduation and found comfort in new friends, some were straight edge some were not. I found myself taking pills, and eating shrooms, but still there was a desire to be outside of the pain that was there with in me. Nothing I was doing would satisfy me. Long before I had decided that I would never do Acid, Coke, or Heroin… those things were addictive, you could lose yourself in those drugs. “I’ll just stick to the other stuff and keep myself out of trouble” I thought. After a summer semester at a community college I found that despite my 4.0 ; my classes were getting in the way of my partying. I dropped out and took a job to help pay bills and pay for my recreational activities.

            Soon enough I was bailing out my friends who were being held hostage by a drug dealer. They had been smoking ice and couldn’t pay. Once I bailed them out one of my closest friends offered me some ice to pay me back, not sure what it was and still searching for my escape I accepted. Despite I had just seen for myself what this path looked like. I began smoking meth with them occasionally still keeping my regular work hours and pretend to go to school when I spoke to my family. As I became more of a regular user, my friend increased and changed. I had a new group of people I spent time with who were opening up the doors to a new way of life. I moved out of my apartment when the student apartments discovered I was no longer a student and back in with my parents. Under the facade of working a full time job I never came home. I sank deeper and deeper into the blackness. I lived for the high. I longed for the next bowl, I waited from pay check to pay check. Realizing that most people who do meth get really skinny I begin to compulsively eat, as to hide from the outside world what I was doing. That’s right; I was a meth addict that gained weight.   I found myself with a group of friends that were “intellectual drug addicts”.  We would smoke, then once high we would read the dictionary and quiz each other on the words, do art, discuss God and religion, talk about how it was ok that we were getting messed up more often because we weren’t like ‘other users’. Those people had a problem. I was just enjoying my life a little. Slowly, but steadily a weekends only…. became a few nights a week, …. Then, only in the evenings turned into week long binges without sleep. Finally I was at the point I was slipping a meth pipe into my purse, so I could hit it and stay awake at work. My cash flow was no longer enough. So I thought I would do a few deals here and there to help support the habit.

I was standing at the edge, my old friends had quit talking to me because I “changed” whatever that meant?!? And the darkness was creeping back in. It was no longer about having fun and reading the dictionary, or writing letters to our friends in jail cause they had been busted, or about recreation, it was about survival… Life without the high was no longer an option.  I needed the drugs, I needed the escape from who I was becoming, and most of all I needed a way out.

I started to watch all of my friends slip over the edge, the point of no return. Some died, some went to jail. And we all were starting to turn on each other. I was out in a shady part of town, making some connection to sell some stuff to get money for another bag, (I smoked all of the one I had bought the night before). When I found myself on the phone losing it with my best friend at the time. She had stolen $100’s from me and my back up supply, that was supposed to hold me over till this deal was done. When I was bitching at her on the phone asking what the hell she was thinking, she told me “that’s the way these things go, you should know better than to let people know where your shit is… its not my fault…” Infuriated I took off ready to drive back and beat her ass, when flashing lights went off behind me. In that sobering moment I realized what was about to happen. I was done for… I was going to jail and it was game over. My parents would find out, my life would be destroyed with a criminal record, and I was never going get that bowl I need.

But something else happened that night, God strolled up to my window and taped on the glass.

He said to me “Young lady, what are you doing?”

“Excuse me??” I said.

He reply “ do you know where you are? This is the wrong part of town for you to be in, there are all kinds of evil people out here. People who will hurt you, or cause you to hurt yourself. Don’t you think that maybe you should go HOME?”

I just stared at him. WHAT?!?! Didn’t he know that I was those people? Didn’t he know that I was hurting myself? Didn’t he know that if he was gona do his job right, he should search my car, and take me to jail?

I stared at him a long time, and I just looked into his eyes and said as honestly as I could “ I’m lost,”

and God said to me, “well maybe I can help you find your way….”

I drove away that night realizing that I too was standing at the point of no return. This was my chance. God spoke to me through that man and ask me what I was doing. I drove home that night. I didn’t go back to the place where I was headed, I dint go back to the “friends” that had stolen my shit, I didn’t go back…. and a decided on that long drive home, That despite what I thought I needed from the other end of a pipe, what I really had need was to admit that somewhere along that dimly lit path, I had got lost. But luckily someone in the universe cared enough to point me in the direction of home.

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